Meet My Worst Boss Ever
I’ve had great bosses. I’ve had terrible ones. But the worst boss I ever worked for wasn’t on payroll. He lived in my head.
He was relentless.
He second-guessed every idea before I even spoke it.
He told me I was lucky to be in the room, not qualified to lead it.
He whispered that every success was a fluke, and every failure was proof.
This boss never gave me a day off. He was with me in presentations, late-night design sessions, client pitches, and even at the dinner table. He never left me alone.
That boss was my inner impostor.
And firing him was the single most important career move I ever made.
The Problem: ADHD and the Impostor Syndrome
Here’s what I didn’t realize until much later: my impostor syndrome wasn’t random. It was amplified by ADHD.
Medical research backs this up:
- A 2019 study in Frontiers in Psychology found that adults with ADHD show significantly higher rates of impostor phenomenon, linked to difficulties in working memory and emotional regulation.
- The National Institute of Mental Health notes that ADHD is associated with “persistent feelings of underachievement,” even in high-performing individuals.
- Another 2021 paper in the Journal of Attention Disorders reported that up to 70% of adults with ADHD experience impostor syndrome at clinically relevant levels.
So when I questioned my place at the table, it wasn’t because I lacked ability. It was because my brain was wired to over-notice mistakes, undervalue wins, and fixate on what I wasn’t doing “right.”
The cruel irony? ADHD also made me more creative, more intuitive, more visionary. But those gifts came bundled with a voice that never stopped telling me I was a fraud.
Personal Anecdote: The Boardroom Betrayal
I remember standing in front of a client boardroom, presenting a strategy deck I had worked on for weeks. My slides were crisp, the story airtight. I could see heads nodding.
But my inner impostor boss wasn’t impressed.
They’re nodding to be polite.
They can see right through you.
Any second now, someone will ask a question you can’t answer, and the mask will fall off.
By the end of the meeting, the client signed off enthusiastically. My actual boss patted me on the back. But I didn’t feel triumphant. I felt like I’d gotten away with something. Like I had fooled everyone, again.
That’s the poisonous thing about impostor syndrome: even when you win, you lose.
Why This Happens (Framework + Science)
So why are ADHD brains so prone to impostor syndrome? Research points to three culprits:
- Time Blindness and Memory Bias
- ADHD brains struggle with working memory. We forget our wins quickly, but failures stick like glue.
- That bias makes us underestimate how competent we actually are.
- Masking and Overcompensation
- Many ADHD adults spend years “masking” symptoms to fit into neurotypical environments.
- That constant pretending reinforces the belief: If people knew the real me, I’d be exposed.
- Rejection Sensitivity (RSD)
- Studies show that up to 98% of people with ADHD experience rejection-sensitive dysphoria.
- That hypersensitivity makes every piece of criticism feel like confirmation that we’re frauds.
Together, these create the perfect storm: highly capable creatives who feel like con artists in their own careers.
The Shift: Firing the Boss
Here’s the truth: you can’t negotiate with your inner impostor boss. You can only fire him.
For me, the firing happened slowly:
- I started documenting every win. Not just the big ones, but the small ones: a client email of thanks, a successful workshop, a slide that landed.
- I practiced saying “I did that” instead of “I got lucky.”
- I learned to externalize the impostor’s voice. Instead of believing it, I pictured that shadowy boss in a cheap suit, barking outdated orders. He became laughable, not credible.
And most importantly: I started telling my story. Out loud. Writing it. Designing it. Sharing it. Because impostors thrive in silence. The moment you claim your narrative, they lose their grip.
Data Meets Storytelling
The science supports this approach.
- Cognitive behavioral research shows that reframing negative self-talk reduces impostor syndrome symptoms by up to 40%.
- Studies in Harvard Business Review found that professionals who “externalize the impostor voice” report higher resilience and performance.
- And storytelling, both personal and professional, has been shown to boost confidence: researchers at Stanford found that individuals who reframe their experiences as stories experience measurable increases in self-esteem.
In other words: the way out isn’t more achievement. It’s more ownership of your story.
Actionable Takeaways
If you’re wrestling with your own inner impostor boss, here’s how to hand him his pink slip:
- Keep a Win Journal. ADHD brains forget victories fast. Write them down daily.
- Name the Voice. Don’t say “I feel like a fraud.” Say: “That’s my impostor boss talking.”
- Reframe Criticism. Instead of proof of failure, treat feedback as data.
- Practice Micro-Bravery. Share an idea you’d normally hold back. Each small risk chips away at the impostor’s power.
- Tell Your Story. Whether in design, writing, or conversation, narrating your journey transforms shame into strength.
Conclusion
The worst boss I ever had was the one in my head. He told me I didn’t belong. He told me I wasn’t good enough. He told me every success was an accident.
And for years, I believed him.
But here’s what I know now: firing that boss wasn’t about arrogance or denial. It was about reclaiming ownership of my story. ADHD may make me question myself more than most, but it also gives me vision, creativity, and energy that no impostor could ever fake.
If you’ve got your own inner impostor boss whispering in your ear, here’s my advice: stop trying to argue with him. Just fire him. He was never qualified for the job anyway.
